Wish Granted
by BEN-Beyond the Elusive Nomads
Summary: Sometimes things don't work out the way you envision, but what can you do but be thankful? "I wish...I wish I had Spike with me."..."Wish granted." Spuffy, part of the Buffy Shuffle Series.


"_I believe, what if I believe you now? Could it ever change this heart? Forgive me, believe me, please come back tonight." – Circles, Flyleaf_

_._

Buffy gasped in pain as she lurched up in her bed, her heart pounding furiously in her chest and her eyes burning with unshed tears. She attempted to pull herself together, but his voice just kept echoing mercilessly in her head.

"_No you don't, but thanks for sayin' it."_

A sob ripped unceremoniously through her throat, and she quickly slapped a hand over her mouth to keep from waking Vi, who dozed peacfuly in the other hotel bed, her soft mumbles breaking through the rooms eerie silence.

God, he was all she could think about. It had been over a year since the Hellmouth had collapsed, but still, she was stuck without him. He was dead, gone just as she had gathered up the balls to tell him she loved him.

She scrambled to get out of the bed, grabbing a jacket and a key before rushing out of the hotel room. She made sure to close the door silently behind her, and managed to make it to the ice room before she collapsed to her knees and allowed herself to cry. She couldn't stay anywhere near as quiet as she would have liked, but where else could she go? No one in their right mind would come to get ice, a soda, or a candy bar at… she glanced down at her watch.

3 in the morning. She had only been asleep two and a half hours – that was proving to be all she could handle of watching him burn over and over again. Though she hadn't witnessed his death, she knew what had happened – and she knew that should could have easily ripped that damned necklace off and keep him alive. It wasn't that hard, really. At least, theoretically – she knew that it was a large possibility that the damn necklace wouldn't stop until everyone with a sun allergy had died.

"Spike," she whispered, holding herself tight and pressing her forehead to her knees. She hoped that it would help keep herself together, but it only serve in putting a crick in her neck. After what felt like an eternity, she stood and made her way down the hall and to the elevators, where she pushed the down arrow and patiently waited. She'd buy some shoes from the guest shop – she couldn't walk back into the room, for fear that Vi had waken up.

The elevator ride was silent and lonely, and she knew the moment she made it outside she would be assaulted with the lights and sounds of Reno – the miniature Vegas. It was no where near as brilliant, but apparently some funky stuff was going down, so she found herself bunking at Circus Circus – a cheap but nice hotel. She had been thoroughly entertained by the Midway, and the omelette's were to die for, but when she made it back to her room and was encompassed in silence, she could only think of him.

She had been so horrible to him. She weakly wiped away a tear as the door opened. She still had a ways to go before she made it to the lobby, and the walk was surrounded with noise that would drive anyone else mad – arcade games blaring their techno themes, children screaming in victory as they won a game, adults lamenting another loss at the slot machines – it never seemed to change. It was as if the same people were doing the same thing night after night, never wavering, never changing.

When she reached the lobby she was disappointed, but not surprised, to find the store closed for business. It didn't change her mind though and she sat in the small section separating the lobby from the valet entrance. Very few people came in or out of the hotel, but they each spared her a curious glance. But she knew they weren't too fazed – on the way here from the airport she had seen a dirty homeless man with his hand shoved down his pants. No joke.

She sighed each time the freezing Nevada air hit her skin, but she didn't bother to huddle up. I was spring break week, but it was still freezing. Nothing like Sunnydale had been.

Her heart contracted at the towns name, and she rested her head against the smooth wall, letting the music filter in through her noisy head.

_"...h__is beautiful arm is bloody and cut off, his heart ripped out to show me he loved me – but I would not believe him. He did all that he could, I still would not believe him…"_

Buffy felt her heart constrict painfully as the lyrics poured uninvited into her head, making her relive memories that at one time were glorious but not left nothing but a bitter angry taste in her mouth.

"…_Left his arms empty and tied, outstretched for me until he died. No man shows greater love than when a man lays down his life for his beloved…"_

She couldn't keep back her tears anymore, letting them fall freely despite the looks she gained, and she pressed her palms harshly too her eyes to try and keep herself restrained – she couldn't cry anymore. She had cried enough as it is. His every word rang in her head, and suddenly even his harshest moments seemed amazing.

"_Why are you here. Five words or less."_

"_Out for a walk…bitch."_

She gave a sad laugh as she remembered that night, silent praying that she could have it all back, that she could take him in her arms and whisper how much she loved him. She needed him with her. She knew this was pathetic, but it was so hard do function without his snide comments or silly smirks.

"…_Here I am alive, and I don't have the right – he gave me the right, costing him his life, new mercies in the morning! I believe! What if I believe you now? Could it ever change this heart? Forgive me, believe me, please come back tonight!"_

She ran her hands harshly down her face, dragging down the skin before burrowing her fingers into her hair while she began to sob even harder than before. The music faded till there was only soft guitar and the womans sad, haunting voice singing her final lyrics.

"_I believe. What if I believe you know? Forgive me, believe me, please come back tonight…"_

The song changed abruptly and the upbeat vocals of Hanson's "Mmmbop" ringing violently through her ears – it was such a drastic change that it made her stomach churn violently. She stood abruptly and walked outside, ignoring the blistering cold and simply walking down the streets, ignoring the colorful lights that seemed so out of place while she felt so dead inside.

She knew she shouldn't still be mourning – he wouldn't have wanted that. But what else could she do? She loved him and he didn't believe her, and now it was to late.

"I wish," she began, before catching herself. She knew better than to make wishes that could only back fire on her – if something was going down, then that mean a vengeance demon could be anywhere. Then she banished the thought from her mind, playing as if she had never thought them.

"I wish I had Spike with me," she whispered into the broken night. She waited hopefully, begging for her wish to come true. She didn't move an inch, just let the sounds of cars, casinos, and the howling wind fill her. There was no telltale shifting of a strangers face, their voice slipping through their lips to chant the normal 'wish granted'. Nothing changed, she was still alone.

And Spike was still dead.

She sobbed dejectedly and turned, with every intention of heading back to her room and her soft bed, but was intercepted by a hand grabbing her elbow. She turned, unable to keep the hope off her face, but faltered as she saw a stranger staring back at her, something clasped in gently in their hand.

"Miss, you just dropped this," he said kindly. Buffy tilted her head curiously and took the object, only to gasp in a mixture of horror and glee.

It was a picture of Spike, his trademark smirk resting gently on his face, his blue eyes gleaming in the light, a cigarette hanging between his lips. There was pure lust in his gaze, something that she had grown so used to seeing over their months together, and there was so much love it nearly killed her. She looked up at the man and smiled, though it was strained and their were tears falling quickly down her face.

"Thank you," she whispered brokenly, trying not to sob, "Thank you…so much." She turned and quickly made her way back to her hotel, tears streaming down her face, while the man smiled sadly, his face shifting into that of a demon.

"Wish granted."

.

_Please tell me what you think – I know it's not exactly a happy ending, but I pretend in my head that everything works out, that they find each other and live happily ever after…well, as happily as they can get, anyway._

_And this song is truly beautiful, and definitely worth a listen._

_B.E. Nomads_


End file.
